I am in a vortex of obligation.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
