At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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