Soap is not a condiment
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
