The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
