how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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