I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize