Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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