the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
