Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am spending my child support on dildos
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
