the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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