i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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