I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
