This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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