You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize