new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
