So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
