Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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