new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
