Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
