if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
