Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
