You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
