He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
