I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
