I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize