I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
