My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
