South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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