Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
