Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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