He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
