idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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