just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize