Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
