I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
