So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no, he came in my armpit
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
