i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
