Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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