Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
