Plan B is the new Plan A
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
