explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
