I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
