Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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