the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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