My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this is an emotional support booty call
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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