i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
