I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
