UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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