I'm lost and stupid without you.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
