imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
