he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
