he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize