just tell him i said nine months
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
