she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
