Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
