they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
