): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All the doctor said was why
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
