ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize