party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
