Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
