So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
