You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
