Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
