Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got chris browned last night
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
