Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
