The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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