He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
