Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
