I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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