I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
