I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
