im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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