I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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