So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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