i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
