Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
