meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
