So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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