everyone is single if you try hard enough
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
