Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
